Copyright -Rochelle Wisoff-Fields |
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100 Words
I took the
stairs with the hope of getting some cues. It’s getting dark outside and dogs
are barking in the background. I brushed past some spider webs, broken glasses,
and a bevy of creepy crawly critters.
Did someone scream?
Or is it the howling wind?
I carefully
ascended the creaky steps and bumped into a closed door with broken doorknob. I can feel
someone watching me; reluctantly I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding.
Scared? Hell
yeah!
I hold the broken
door knob, count to six, and turn it around.
BANG!
"Olly olly oxen free...."
I love the creepy atmosphere
ReplyDeleteHey, Siobhan
DeleteCreepy always creeps me.
Dear Moushmi,
ReplyDeleteNice build of tension until you hit us with a game of Tag. I should'be seen it with the title.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Namaste Rochelle,
DeleteI am glad that it GOTCHA.
Nice! This is the first one that made me think of an old movie called, "Wolfen". I don't know why it took me so long to make the connection! (There are several scenes in old buildings...)
ReplyDeleteHey, JudahFirst
DeleteI have not seen the movie "Wolfen", I have to check it out now.
Namaste
scary place to play!
ReplyDeleteSarah smith,
DeleteI know what you mean, just the thought freaks me out.
Totally different take on the prompt! and with that kind of ending you can surely tell me - "Gotcha!" :)
ReplyDeleteHorus
Horus,
DeleteHehe, thanks a tonne for appreciating.
And you got us as well. Well done! I agree that it would be a scary place to play and possibly dangerous as well.
ReplyDeletejanet
Namaste Janet,
DeleteThanks you so much for your kind words. I appreciate it.
That was scary with the cobwebs and broken glass. Kids would choose a place like that to play. Good thing their parents probably don't know. Well-written.
ReplyDeleteHello PS Joshi,
ReplyDeleteHide and seek in haunted house is a scary thought that I would never recommend. You're absolutely right there.
Thanks
Ah.. it's a all a game... still scary enough when the setting is right.
ReplyDeleteAgreed Bjorn.
DeleteOh COOL!!! That reminded me of when I was a kid and would go into places kind of scary, etc. You painted that world SO well here. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteWmqcolby,
ReplyDeleteI did something similar as well. I am glad you could relate to it.
Thanks
I remember Olly olly oxen free! Those were good days and good games. Now my grandchildren play hide-and-seek in our house and they always yell "Olly olly oxen free" which is another way of saying "Kings X" - Hey these are good memories within a really creepy setting. You did good! Really, really good! Nan :)
ReplyDeleteHey, Nan
DeleteI am so glad the story brought back old memories for you. My son is in the peek-a-boo stage now..can't wait to teach him "Olly Olly oxen free"
Namaster
Mousume
Ack-I would have had a heart attack,lol!Great build up and a fun write Moushmi-enjoyed it:-)
ReplyDeleteAtreyee,
DeleteI am so glad you liked it.
the ending was a complete surprise. gotcha to me. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha. Thanks for appreciating.
ReplyDelete